#smallmomentofhappiness 21 day Challenge

LOGO smoh
This is the start for a happiness challenge!
A great way to begin the month of February and an amazing way to give a boost to your attitude in 2014. Get an uptitude by accepting this challenge!
Maybe you already know that it takes 21 days to create a habit. We challenge you now to create the habit of being happy and of noticing the small things in life that make you happy. Ready to take it? Read below the guidelines.
WHAT
  • you don’t need to wait for big things to happen in order to be happy: small things do count
  • appreciate the moments, the people, the small things that make you happy now – they will give you long term happiness
  • take time to appreciate the small things that make you feel better
  • gather and share your small moments of happiness every day for 21 days in a row, starting today or in the next 7 days.
HOW
  • for 21 days in a row, share your small moment of happiness using a short phrase and a picture of what made you happy that day. No matter how small it is, it contributes to your happiness. It’s a challenge to help you gain a happiness habit
  • share your photo via FacebookTwitterGoogle+Instagram or email it at lidia@uptitude.it or roxana@uptitude.it and use the tags #smallmomentofhappiness and #21dayuptitude with a mention of the day of the challenge (day 1, day 2 etc)
  • if you wish that your photos remain private, you can send them via email and we will not share them
  • !!! if you go through the entire 21 days, at the end of the challenge Uptitude will send you YOUR Small Moments of Happiness online book that includes a few of the famous moments from the book and your 21 moments too.
WHEN
  • we start the challenge today, the 1st of February and we will continue for 21 days
  • you can also start anytime the next 7 days, the last start day is Saturday, February 8th
WHY
  • this challenge will help you be happier and make others happier by sharing happiness
  • be in a better mood every day
  • appreciate what you have, what you do and who you are
  • open your eyes and see the beauty in your life
  • get a new attitude, an uptitude!

So, let’s recap:

  • start the 21 day challenge now to create a habit of happiness
  • take a photo of your small moment of happiness and share it using the tags #smallmomentofhappiness and #21dayuptitude with a mention of the day of the challenge (day 1, day 2 etc)
  • you will receive at the end of the 21 days your online Small moments of happiness book!

Did you like the teaser that we created?

You can also share them on our Facebook pages or check there a few examples: Small Moments of Happiness Page or on Uptitude page. Oh, we also have the Small moments of Happiness website and take a look at the book to know what’s waiting for you at the end of the challenge.

Your worst days are truly your best days!

ImageThe words below, belonging to Anthony Robbins, sent me a very powerful message and made me realize how ,sometimes , I give too much importance to a problem, and maybe, even,  become a victim, instead of dealing with it, grow and learn from it.

“There is a very beautiful and guided, and gifted moment when you can realize that your worst days were truly your best days.

Think about it, would you be the person you are today, realized the things you did, unless you would have gone through all the struggles you did? Could you have gained strength, power, wisdom, if your life would have been smooth and without any mountains to climb? Have this in mind the next time you’re going through a difficult time :), and go over it easier.

“When you can realize that every human being goes through pain and injustice, some more than others, but everyone goes through it. Everyone’s had someone being completely injustice and everyone’s had someone hurt them, who they loved and care for deeply, who they trust them, who they looked to for support, for love; it’s part of how we grow spiritually.”

You’re not alone in this game, we all have our part, don’t become a victim because you think it can only happen to you; whatever it is, be sure that, it doesn’t.

“There is no possibility to build muscle without something you have to lift. And if you don’t lift it, it will crash you. And if you lift it, it will be painful, it’s not easy to lift those things. But the day you finally find inside yourself the story in state, that finally makes you no longer be willing to be pressed down by your’past, that day your life not only changes but you’ll also have to give the gift to other.”

 You get fit by going to the gym, and you go back to the gym even if your are in big pain after the first session. But the more you go, the more experienced you become, and the stronger you get. It works the same with all the other things in life..

 “Those who have been physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually or verbally abused in any way, when the injustice goes to that level it creates a spiritual pain, not just a physical pain.But only does who have a spiritual pain have the power to help others, cause it provides a different level of us. Maybe you start to realize that the problems are our gifts, where would we be without our problems?”

Wouldn’t life be boring without our daily smaller and bigger challenges? As Tony says, it’s time to look up for bigger and bolder challenges that will make us grow spiritually and, after we do so, share with others and help them grow as well.

Beautiful speech! Thank You , Tony Robbins!

Will you be happy this year?

happinessWill you be happy this year?
Happiness makes your life better. But you do not need to wait for big things to happen in order to be happy.

 

 

In the past two years I tested a theory on my own: that small things do bring happiness. So I started to focus on those little moments or things that gave me joy, that made me smile or made others smile. And I came up with the Small Moments of Happiness concept that I believe it can be an answer to your happiness this year.

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Are you proud of this year?

A reflection on 2013

Learnings from 2013

This year was a very interesting year on a professional and personal level.

And, as I told you in the short Holiday message movie that you can find below, we had our ups but we also had our downs, and I think that we should treasure even more the downs than the ups. Why?

 

 

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Home Coaching Series #1 – Celebrate 2013 achievements and plan for 2014

 

I simply love the idea of meeting with a few people in a cosy environment and having a  coaching meeting where we talk about how was the year that finishes soon and how to be sure we will achieve our objectives in the next coming year. Chiara, one of my friends from Brussels, had this great idea of doing a first “workshop” in a very informal place (someone’s home), with snacks and drinks, and only very few people that get the chance to talk one-to-one with a coach and work on themselves on a specific topic. I am invited as the coach that will lead the conversation.

You can find below the description of the meeting in Brussels next week. If you are interested, register now as we have very limited places available (the limit of the living room 🙂 ).

Year resolution2013 is almost over and a new year is coming!
It’s the time of the year when you think of what you achieved this year and what you’d like to achieve next year.

Do you have the impression you’ve not fulfilled your 2013 resolutions?
Are you already writing down your new year’s resolutions but not believing you’ll fulfill all of them?

What if you have achieved more than you thought you would in 2013? What if there was a more effective way to plan your 2014?

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Get the best from your relationship!

Happy couple cycling in the cityI think that learning this in school would have been useful for my whole life. But nobody taught me. I did learn a few things from my parents, but they were not always an example for a harmonious relationship. I did learn a bit during my interactions with school, university and work colleagues and then a little bit from friends or during my different relationships with a partner. Sometimes I learned the hard way, but most of the times I did not improve anything because I did not know what I was supposed to learn.

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Need to relax and manage stress? Learn how!

Last minute offer!

Worried about work-life balance? You have too much stress in your life?

BANNER-01

Yes, it’s time to relax! It’s been quite a while since you did not take a little break. So give yourself 2.5 hours and learn how to relax for when you are stressed out and gain some energy for when you feel that your batteries are running low. Join your workshop!

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Do you want to be happy?

Recently, Lidia gave me a challenge “Take an A4, pick a person and write down all the things you are grateful for to that person”. You might be wondering what does it have to do with the title of the article? Stick with me for a little longer and you’ll find out 🙂

gratefulSo, I took a piece of paper and I started to write.. The first few lines came up rather slow.. A weird feeling was emerging.. A mixture of vulnerability, of fear of the unknown, of reluctance… And of HAPPINESS. The more I was writing, the happier I was feeling. A beautiful,warm, feeling was flooding my body.. something new, something that made me smile without a reason.

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Small moment of happiness at TEDx Brussels 2013

TED events are not only a place where you find out all about the inspiring life and business experiences, cutting-edge technology, amazing science projects, etc.. but also, the place to get the best out of the latest techniques in creating music.

This year TEDx Brussels offered two special musical moments.  Amalya Delepierre and Tim Exile made music out of nothing and, the result blew us away. Music makes me happy, and I am probably not alone in here, so having access to this experience was definitely a moment of happiness.

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Sharing knowledge from TEDx Brussels 2013

TedX Brussels28th of October 2013 was my first TEDx experience and I have to say it was a very inspiring one! With the theme “Do something out of nothing”, #TEDxBrussels 2013 brought on stage amazing speakers, all sharing great ideas.  The areas touched by the them were diverse, but they all have something in common: science. Be it education, youth unemployment, music, food, protecting animals, technology, they all proved that we live in a world that is constantly changing, evolving, and has more opportunities to offer than ever before!

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Today it’s my birthday

And I will celebrate in a very special way: sharing happiness with everybody!

I took a commitment not long ago that I would publish my Small Moments of Happiness book during my birthday today. And here we are!

Smoh

I have a few things to be grateful for: Continue reading

3 things I learned while my plane was crashed

“I no longer want to postpone anything in life. That urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life.”

“I no longer try to be right; I choose to be happy.”

“I regretted the time I wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter.”

Ric Elias was sitting in seat 1D of U.S. Airways Flight 1549 on January 15, 2009 headed to Charlotte, North Carolina, when a flock of Canadian geese collided with the jet.

“When the pilot said, ‘Brace for impact,’ I knew my life was over,” said Elias, “But I was given a chance.”

Watch the short TED talk below to learn the 3 things and ask yourself what can you learn from his experience too.

And the winners are…

challenge winner

The Facebook #smallmomentofhappiness Challenge is over! We are so happy to see that people started looking around and appreciating the small things in life that give pleasure, joy and happiness. Keep going like this and if you have more moments to share with us and the world, do so on our Facebook page.

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What do you get from a coaching program

Coaching program

As I am offering a coaching program to the winner of the Small Moments of Happiness Challenge, I think I should also tell you more of what the prize is about.

I got the chance to work with my own coach and I must tell you that I felt a big difference than working on my own! And I got results, that is the most important thing!

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#smallmomentofhappiness challenge

smoh challengeAnd we are here! The challenge starts now on Facebook!

Share your Small Moment of Happiness with us and you have the possibility to win a 4 months Coaching Program worth 1.000 EUR or two very interesting books on Happiness. We started our competition on this link and if you upload your #smallmomentofhappiness photo and gather most votes, you will win.

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New challenge on the way!

Work in progressDear Uptituders

Tomorrow at 3 PM CET a challenge will start on our Facebook page where you have the possibility to win prizes worth 1000 EUR. Stay tuned and be ready to contribute!

See you tomorrow!

Roxana & Lidia

I am grateful!

Thank youThey say that being grateful creates more happiness in life.

If you don’t believe that, try it yourself by saying something that you are grateful for everyday.

I tested it with myself, my clients and my seminars’ participants: gratitude is one of the highest positive emotions that a human being can experience.

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In Brussels, let’s meet in the European Parliament or outside

It’s more than a year since I started delivering seminars in the European Parliament in Brussels and I realize now that I managed to make a difference in so many people’s lives. Not because I delivered some content during the seminars or because we had some discussions in our coaching sessions, but because those people decided to take action afterwards. And I want to thank them for not letting vanish the motivation they got and that they used it to get results! And results are the ones that talk today! See more about those results on the Testimonial page.

Every time I organized workshops in the EP, I also had participants that were not necessarily working inside there. So, this time I organized my time differently: we will meet in the European Parliament for some of the best seminars I delivered there and we will have one workshop delivered outside of the EP building, where anyone can register.

We have limited seats: first registered, first served! So, if you want to get what it takes to move a step forward towards your objective or getting out of your problem, take action and register now on the links you have in the description of every seminar.

The topics this time are:

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Time Management and Stress Management

stone jarLast week I got the chance to deliver an excellent training to almost 30 people from the Romanian Public Administration. It was great to talk to them and discover what the issues are in their organizations. The training was about Time Management and Stress Management.

I got the chance to apply myself Time Management techniques because we only had 9 hours available in 3 days and I had to focus on what’s important and do my best to help them practice during the training what they learned. We had fun, we learned a lot and we also relaaaaaaxed in the last day.

What did we cover?

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Get ready for holiday!

As a coach I help people reach their objectives. But sometimes we get stuck in the process because the client cannot fully focus on the future objectives: he/she is too focused on today’s problems and on the negative emotions that he/she lives daily.

And the negative emotions do not let us live fully our present and future beautiful experiences!

A “clean up” of the negative emotions and getting the learnings as resources for the future is what you need in order to be able to let some of those emotions go away. It does not mean that you will not feel anything anymore, it means that you will release what you don’t need and start your journey towards your objectives with a “light backpack”.

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Making a difference: a great client feedback

feedback foto
A few weeks ago I finished a coaching program with one of my clients from the European Parliament in Bruxelles. I knew she had incredible results, but I did not expect such good feedback! And I wanted to share it with you too. 
 
“Participating in Lidia’s seminars and training sessions was my best career move since I started working in the European Parliament two years ago.
 

What do you need? Creativity, Feedback, Priorities or Relaxation?

This week I am going back to Bruxelles to deliver new seminars and meet my dear friends and clients. I designed new workshops that will talk about Creativity, How to give and receive feedback, How to manage time better by knowing the roles you are playing and what are your priorities and we will Relax with some interesting techniques that we also used last time.

We have limited seats: first registered, first served! So, write now an email to lidia@uptitude.it or contact me via the form at the end of the article.

The topics this time are:

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Gain more energy challenge! Day 6

bouncingHave you ever felt that life gets better when you listen to a certain song that puts you in a good mood? Music changes your state and sets you for the mood you want: meditative, relaxing, workout, sad, romantic, motivational etc.

Why not use it to get more energy?

* Very important notice: these tips do not work if you only reflect on them. You need to take action!

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Gain more energy challenge! Day 5

baby sleepHaving a lot of energy depends a lot of your sleeping routine. So, part of the challenge I will share with you the Golden Rules for a good sleep.
* Very important notice: these tips do not work if you only reflect on them. You need to take action!

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Gain more energy challenge! Day 4

flowersI wish you a great International Women’s day! Love you all, my dear female friends and I hope you will get lots of energy with every flower received live or virtually. That flowers give you energy it’s true because they help you create a beautiful feeling inside of you and then create endorphins!

* Very important notice: these tips do not work if you only reflect on them. You need to take action!

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Gain more energy challenge! Day 3

full of energyWas there a moment in your life when you were full of energy? How was that? How were you and what were you doing? See tip #3 to get more energy.

* Very important notice: these tips do not work if you only reflect on them. You need to take action!

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Gain more energy challenge! Day 2

drain energyAre we paying attention to what drains our energy? We all have enough energy to do whatever we want. But there are too many things that we might not even be aware of and that make us lose the energy we need.

* Very important notice: these tips do not work if you only reflect on them. You need to take action!

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Gain more energy challenge! Day 1

Energy ElixirLast week, two of Uptitude’s friends on Facebook gave me feedback on how I could help even more. One of them wanted some tips on how to gain more energy. As I already had a seminar on that in the European Parliament in Bruxelles, I will share here some of those tips in the form of one month challenge. Get ready to apply them and get more energy!

* Very important notice: these tips do not work if you only reflect on them. You need to take action!

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Leadership on board

Leadership on board

Not many of us think about this: when sailing we don’t need only our technical skills but also a few social skills that will help us manage the boat crew and our relations with the crew members. It might seem easy, but when you are on the sea for more than 2-3 days a lot of issues might appear. How can you manage, anticipate the problems and reach your destination safely? Be a leader too, not only a skipper!

I just love when I get the chance to combine my passions or hobbies with my work! This is what I did with this seminar and it came out great because I put in it all my passion and enthusiasm.

So, check a few tips that I shared with the participants during the “Leadership on Board” seminar that I delivered in Italian last week in Perugia, Italy. This seminar was part of the 3 months Skipper Course from AcquaDolce Sailing for the unlimited sailing license.

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Day 14 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships14Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you are enjoying this day and remember to surprise your loved one with anything that they mane them happy. It does not to be big, sometimes the small things make the difference! Smile, laugh, hug, send a nice sms, take a photo, hold their hand etc or just do something you don’t usually do, but your partner would love it! Love is above anything! If you are single or in a relationship, enjoy today and think about the future!

Tip #14: Reach for help when you need it!

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Day 13 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships13

So what are your plans for tomorrow? Ready to surprise your partner and make him/her feel loved more than anyone else in the world? How do you make your partner feel really special? One way would be to feel great around them! Be inspired, energized and never stop loving them like crazy.

Tip #14: Be playful, be crazy, forget about the rules!

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Strategy Coaching Sessions in the European Parliament

free coaching session

Want to reach an important objective and you don’t know how? Get a Strategy Coaching Session!

In the week February 14th – February 19th the COACH will be in the European Parliament and will offer face to face complementary coaching sessions if you want to:

  • discuss about limiting believes or what’s holding you back
  • improve your relationships
  • reduce stress
  • learn more about what’s guiding you in life
  • get clarity
  • change something in your lifestyle
  • decide strategy for the next months to reach your objectives
  • get clear actions for the future

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Day 12 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships12We are getting closer, Valentine’s Day is almost here! If you are in a relationship or not, if you’ve been together since a long time or since only for a few weeks, this tip is for you.

Tip #12: Make plans for the future but live in the present

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New seminars in the European Parliament

This week I am going back to Bruxelles, one of the cities that I love most even if the weather is completely different than the weather in Italy. I have there so many friends and every time I go back I discover new things about the people that live there, I enjoy time with my friends and I grow and help others grow by delivering workshops and having coaching inside the European Parliament.

We have limited seats: first registered, first served! So, write now an email to lidia@uptitude.it or contact me via the form at the end of the article.

The topics this time are:

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Day 11 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships11We are getting closer, Valentine’s Day is almost here! Learn new things that you can do in order to have an amazing relationship! Read yesterday’s post and the tip for today is to spend more time with your partner.

Tip #11: Create rituals to spend more time with your partner

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Day 10 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships10There are so many things that want to grab our attention these days! And sometimes we completely forget what are the most important things. If you know what are those things you will not get lost and keep your focus. So chose that your relationship is top priority.

Tip #10: Put your relationship above anything else

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Day 9 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships9Only a few days left! As we are getting closer to Valentine’s Day find new ways to grow your relationship and satisfy your partner. It takes only a small change in you to have a great effect on your relationship. Make that change inside you!

Tip #9: When there is a problem, look first at you

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Day 8 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships8Laugh and love: they just go together! We feel better with our partner when we are in a good state and laugh. Preparing for Valentine’s day make a choice to smile more and laugh more when communicating with your partner.

Tip #8: Use humor to relax and solve problems

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Day 7 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships7Prepare yourself for a great Valentine’s day! This day is not about giving presents only and spending time with your loved one, but it’s about putting in perspective your relationship and share the love for each other. We always expect the other to love us fully, but do you give yourself fully to your partner?

Tip #7: Love your partner unconditionally

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Day 6 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships6How can you enjoy even more this Valentine’s day? Use what you’ve learned about customer service also in your relationship. To transform a customer into a client that loves you and would do anything to buy from you, you need to make him your fan!

Tip #6: Make your partner be your fan, your best “client”!

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Day 5 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships5We are getting closer, Valentine’s Day is almost here! Do you have a partner to spend this day with? That partner you always saw yourself with? And what about you? Are you the person that you would have a relationship with?

Tip #5: Be the kind of person you want to attract in your relationship

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Day 4 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships4We are getting closer, Valentine’s Day is almost here! Any ideas of how you could surprise your loved one already? One of the most important things is to be yourself, in your true nature!

Tip #4: Own and use your sexual essence to attract your partner

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Day 3 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

relationships3We have 12 days left until Valentine’s Day! Give a boost to your relationship this period! And do not stop to this period only, but create healthy habits that will help your relationship on a long term. One of these habits is this one:

Tip #3: Do what you did in the beginning of your relationship and there will not be an end!

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Day 2 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

hugWe have 13 days left until Valentine’s Day! Give a boost to your relationship this period! And do not stop to this period only, but create healthy habits that will help your relationship on a long term. One of these habits is this one:

Tip #2: Replace expectation with appreciation!

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Day 1 of 14 Days Magnificent Relationship Tips

14 days magnificent relationship tipsWe have 14 days left until Valentine’s Day. I will use this special day as a good reason to share with you some relationship tips that I found very useful for me and that I saw working really well with some of my clients. Today we will start this series to prepare for Valentine’s Day!

Tip #1: Know where you are and where you want to be in your relationship

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How to be happy

How to be happyThis year started with a lot of thinking! It is already and it’s going to be a very interesting year for me and for my dear ones, with lots of changes on a personal level and also professionally. All these changes will come step by step and I plan in enjoying them one by one. I hope you will also enjoy all changes coming on your side! Let the change shape you like a diamond lets his master shape it!

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Five ways to build a great workplace

Are you an entrepreneur or a manager? If yes, apply these five ways to create a great working environment and your employees will be the happiest people in the world.

The results you will get? Loyalty, Innovation, Hard work, Fulfillment, Impact, Revenue Growth. And not only: the most important is turning your employees into entrepreneurs that will help your company grow even more.

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I can do it!

Stop listening to what others think about what you can do!

They are only trying to limit you. They don’t do it on purpose. They think that they are protecting you from going out of your comfort zone and from getting hurt. But what they do is actually limiting.

If you feel that you can do it, just do it!

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Photo: Lidia Dogaru, taken with Instagram

It’s never too late…part 4

Remember the book? Here are a few more things that you can do because it’s never too late.

 

 

 

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It’s never too late…part 3

Remember the book? Here are a few more things that you can do because it’s never too late.

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It’s never too late – part 2

Remember the book? Here are a few more things that you can do because it’s never too late. 🙂

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When I loved myself enough

“When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little.

When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness.

When I loved myself enough I began taking the gift of life seriously and gratefully.

When I loved myself enough I began to know I was in the right place at the right time and I could relax. Continue reading

Do you live your life with intent?

Journalist John Hockenberry tells a personal story inspired by a pair of flashy wheels in a wheelchair-parts catalogue and how they showed him the value of designing a life of intent. Continue reading

Learnings from a robbery story

Did anyone ever steal anything from you? Did you lose something?

If yes, I know how you feel…

Two weeks ago they broke into our house and they took some things that were very important to us: Continue reading

The story of the frogs and the tower

I heard this story from a friend of mine and now use it very often during my coaching sessions and also in some of my seminars. It shows how what others say influence us.

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a climbing competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

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More moments of happiness

As they had a good success on Facebook, I am continuing posting these small moments of happiness that make our days and our lives. Check all moments here.

Any great moments that make your day? Share them here!

It’s never too late

Two years ago I bought a book while I was in Australia. Yesterday I found it in a box. It’s called “It’s never too late” and I want to share some words from it.

From the book “It’s never too late…” Patrick Lindsay

 

 

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What does a good friend do for you?

Just a while ago I lost my motivation. Things were not so good with work, I was expecting different results even if I was doing the same thing all over again. I was not moving forward and my focus was only on the fact that I did not get those results. From my point of view, I had no learnings to take from the situation and the more I was focusing on the fact that I could not move forward, the more I felt bad and stuck. I was all over my head into the problem and I could not see anything outside!

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My first seminar in Italian! My first Uptitude seminar!

io sonoI can say it was an amazing success! And the applauses of the participants said that too. It’s called Discover Yourself and Your Hidden Potential and it’s about what is important for us in life and what drives us.

We did not have much time (only 7 hours), but as I promised the participants, I gave them a taste of what are some of the invisible forces that guide our lives. It was the foam of a tasteful Capuccino. 🙂  Continue reading

The Last Lecture – Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

It’s interesting how you find exactly what you need and search for. I was browsing the internet the other day with no motivation to continue my work. And I found a web talk on TED.com that amazed me, that made me stay for a full hour in front of the computer.

It’s Randy Pausch‘s last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University. He had only 3 to 6 month left to live because of a pancreatic cancer and he wanted to let something behind him. It’s not a lecture on informatics, but on life!

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Small moments of happiness


We are all in search for happiness. We live to be happy and make others happy.

But how do we create happiness in our lives?

Are we waiting to be happy? Or we are enjoying every moment we have?

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Top 5 regrets people have

I read a very interesting article received from a friend of mine about the things people regret. A nurse that cured patients on their death bed, asked them about the regrets they had about their lives or the things they would do differently.

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by the nurse: Continue reading

Strategies to remember names

How could you learn the name of a person? How could you remember that name?

I always had issues in remembering names, but for someone the name is the most important thing: it’s his identity and is linked to the core of the person. Using the name we value that person and we create a personal relationship.

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